5月6日雅思大作文范文解析

2017-05-12编辑: 长安来自: 环球教育

  上周六的这道大作文考题,可谓是看似熟悉实则不然,貌似简单其实暗藏玄机。环球教育杨亮老师相信有良好备考经历的考生都会觉得这个题目似曾相识。其实,这道题是之前老题的变形版本,或者说是升级版本。

  在犯罪类的考试中,关于青少年罪犯应该如何被惩戒其实一直都是考题的范围,并且出现频率还不算低。但是,本次考试的题目是在相关老题的基础上,增加了限制。这需要考生们在审题的过程中格外的注意。显而易见,serious crimes(重罪)是本题的关键。


  原题如下:

  Some young people commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks. Some people think they should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 20170506

  从提问方式的角度而言,本题其实较为常见,算是常规问法。

  Whether minor criminals deserve the same punishment as adult convicts has been in the spotlight all over the world. However, this essay will prove that people should stop wavering between punishing these young criminals less seriously and imposing the same treatment to them, while discussing minor outlaws over 14 or 15 years old who violate laws severely. Namely, existence of different treatment between adult culprits and young offenders does not make much sense.

  这个开头段,比以往的开头段都长了很多。第一句是一个背景的介绍。第二句实则是点明原题,并且在第二句中将原题的young people重新定义了一下。第三句明确地表达了笔者的个人立场。相信这个立场可能和绝大部分的考生思路相悖,笔者这次又极端了。

  主要是前几日在腾讯课堂和大家交流过此题,对于青少年罪犯的惩戒,众位考生都是观点统一,所以笔者答应各位写一个与大家的观点不同的文章,供各位参考。

  Initially, objectors assert that these young criminals might be instigated by others to commit crimes, and their subjectivity of breaking laws is relatively limited. Seemingly, they break the law unwillingly and involuntarily. In fact, most of felonies are committed premeditatedly with well-organized plans, and even schoolchildren can easily estimate severe outcomes of these serious crimes by common sense they have got from schooling and parenting. An instance in point is that there is no convincing evidence to show that minor criminals who robbed a supermarket with guns have less willingness to do so than an adult who does the same thing.

  本质上说,这是一个让步段的写法。先表述了反方的第一个观点,然后将其反驳。从而证明反方观点是错误的。青少年罪犯在犯罪时可能是主观性较差。但是,那是一般犯罪,对于重罪而言,事实就并非如此了。

  Additionally, another standpoint these objectors hold is chances are that young culprits can be more easily remoulded. Nevertheless, the truth is that due to serious crimes those young culprits took part in, they are all sentenced to at least 8 or 10 years in prison. After serving their sentence in juvenile detention for 3 or 4 years, they of course would be transformed to ordinary jails because they become adults. Thereafter, their new cell mates might tell them that how they felt when they killed people they did not like. And the prisoner who they are weeding with could help them analyze why they need a shotgun for robbing a bank rather than a rifle. People could imagine what would happen if those young people return to our society after a few years.

  本段还是以让步段的方式进行。反方观点认为青少年罪犯可塑性强。那么在反驳阶段,笔者就告诉大家他们恐怕不能像人们想象的那样好好改造,重新做人。

  Forgiveness for wrong people is punishment for upright citizens, and consequently young people with unforgivable behaviors ought to be imposed same treatment as adults to let them know what the crime cost is.

  经过对两个反方观点的反驳,最后笔者清晰地得出了自己的结论。

  相信本文立场应该与大部分考生的思路不符。其实考试中对于考生文章的结论并无强制要求,考生还是应该仔细研究评分标准细则,那才是备考的终极指引。

  成文匆忙,期待斧正。

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